you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There's always time for handjobs
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
