I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
