Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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