i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
