i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
