If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
