....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
