We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
