i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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