One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
