a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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