My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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