went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's rum buckets o'clock
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
