i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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