hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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