okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
