I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize