it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
