She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
