My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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