I don't usually arrange sex via text message
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
