Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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