Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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