were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
