i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
