If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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