hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize