Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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