is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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