Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
