So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i need some magic done to my vagina
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
