people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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