next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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