Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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