careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
