STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
