i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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