my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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