I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
