Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
