YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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