How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just gift wrapped bread.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
