Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
