Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
