My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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