Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
How's work?
Spinning.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
