and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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