1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
