i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
