yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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