You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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