I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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