I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
