there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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