But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
my liver is dry heaving
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
