this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
