Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
