Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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