is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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