I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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