Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
