hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
