i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We had sex on a dog bed..
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
