I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
