I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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