If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
