No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bring me that man meat
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
